EASTER, SPRING, ETC.

EASTER. Easter was a wonderful day. It was great to be home from the hospital. Yes, I was a bit fatigued, but the sun was shining and so was I. It was good to be a part of something "normal". Of course, holidays always contain a little stress, but this one had very little family drama! :) It was a beautiful day - no rain in sight - and mom, dad and I started preparing early. Most of the food was already prepared, so we just had a few odds and ends to attend to. We set up the tables and chairs, added the Easter table cloth (well - it was paper) and added the candy basket centerpiece that Hannah and I put together on Friday. I frosted the carrott cakes while mom made the carrotts. Later I glazed the ham and popped it into the oven. Almost everyone arrived on time and everyone ate like they had not eaten in days. I ate a little bit of everything - I was starving by dinner time and for some reason, everything tasted really good (which is not usually the case this close to a chemo treatment). Ham, deviled eggs, three kinds of stuffed shells, roast beef and gravy, asparagus, and other stuff. I constantly comment that my mom is obsessed with food, but I am beginning to think that I have the same disease! There were lots of good conversations and a very mini Easter egg hunt (I only had seven plastic eggs to hide). Ava and Hannah were the only hunters, but they did a good job and found all seven eggs. Baskets of goodies and treats were exchanged and food was wrapped in take-out containers and the Easter party ended in the late sunshine and mom, dad and I cleaned up and sat around the table having some dessert and discussing the days events - absolutely exhausted, but happy. The family had been together. The meal was good. And for a few hours, everything was right with the world.

SPRING. I spent a few hours at my own house the other day. WOW, that was a good feeling. I went there to put some paperwork away (yes, finally completed the taxes - yeah!). All my Spring bulbs were blooming in the back yard - I was shocked to see them. About a dozen daffodils and a couple of tulips - they looked so good to me. That is one of the things that I like about bulbs - sometimes, even when you don't replant them or think about them and the winter is cold and snowy, they flowers show up anyway. Tulips and daffodils are my favorite uninvited guests! I have problems with bulbs and some years don't have any flowers - there seem to be a lot of rabbits and squirrels in my neighborhood and they tend to feast on the bulbs. So, I was totally surprised to see the crocus the last time that I was at the house and the array of tulips and daffodils this time. Wow,what a great feeling. Well, I stayed at the house a few hours to take care of a few things. I completely cleaned out the refridgerator. It looked so clean and shiny (and empty) and cleaned out all the expired stuff from the pantry closet. It felt good to complete something. It all was a bit overwhelming because there is so much out of place - I left there in the beginning of October and have been barely back - the Fall arrangement with acorns on the dining room table is a strange reminder of the last time that I took interest in my home decor! After the clean out efforts, I went upstairs (yes, it is still difficult to get up those 13 steps) and took a nap in my own bed - wow, that really felt good too.

ETC. I had a bit of a meltdown the other day. So many things hit me at once. I guess the holiday and being at my house reminded me that I am not progressing with my own life. I know - very whiney of me. But, sometimes it does get to me. I am tired of going to the hospital and taking medicines. Tired of not being able to drive. Tired of not being able to work. Tired of talking to the insurance company. Tired of hospital bills. (PS: They have the absolute nerve to show the hospital room as "accomodations" on the invoices - as if I were on vacation!) Tired of just about everything. Yes, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was having a one woman pity party. I was a big grouch for a few hours and snapped at everyone around me. Well, it took a while and a walk outside, but I moved forward, counted my blessings, and stopped being grouchy. Yes, I even apologized to the people that I snapped at (well - not the insurance company). I guess that I needed the meltdown - my attitude has been much more positive since then!