FOUR YEARS!!!

For the last few days, I kept thinking that I was forgetting something important, but just wasn't certain what it was.  October is always a busy month and this one seems to be flying by already.  Although still recovering from left shoulder replacement surgery, I am feeling fairly well and have been keeping very busy.  Earlier today, I had dinner with my parents, my sister and two of her children.  After getting home, I baked some ribbon shaped cookies and decorated them in pink to give to a friend that is a breast cancer survivor.  As I was heading to bed, something was nagging me, but I wasn't sure what.  I looked at my calendar to see if I had missed something and all of a sudden, it dawned on me - this is the week - four years ago - that I went to the ER and found out that I had CNS Lymphoma.  FOUR YEARS AGO!  Part of me feels as if it happened yesterday and part of me feels as if it is some distant memory, as if in a bad dream.  I think that I would have realized what week it was over the weekend, if Bonnie and I had gone to the Catoctin Colorfest.  We didn't go because the weather was so rainy and we were sure that it would be very muddy.  Bonnie and I were at the Catoctin Colorfest in October, 2009 - we had a good day, but Bonnie kept mentioning that I was running into people.  When we got home, I fell getting out of the car, but we laughed it off - just Debbie being clumsy.  Little did we know.  When I look back at those next few days, I can see the signs - the extreme headaches that didn't go away  being totally agitated and short tempered.  I was extremely busy at work and had a huge deadline looming, so I just didn't see the warning signs.  I blamed it on too little sleep.  There were real signs my last day in the office.  I was livid with the commute when I walked into the office.  The car next to me was edging towards me and I almost hit a curb trying to avoid it.  I remember complaining about it when I got into the office.  The headache just wouldn't go away, but I had work to do and kept doing it.  Late in the afternoon, schooners were sighted in the Harbor.  I went to Kevin's office to look out the window at them.  Right then I decided that I needed a closer look and went outside and walked over to the Harbor.  While watching the schooners, I sent a text message to my friend who worked near there to see if he had seen the schooners  I also took some photos on my cell phone and sent them to my nephew.  I then walked back to my office, crossing major roads, navigating security doors and elevators and went back to my office to work some more.  I have recounted the "rest of the story" so many times that I don't want to repeat it here.  After various events, I wound up in the ER at Franklin Square Hospital.  I thought that I had a vision problem, but instead, I had a brain tumor.  In retrospect, that day was probably one of the worst days of my life.  A lot has happened in the the last four years.  I have lived through some horrible experiences, but I have also lived through some fabulous experiences.  The part of all of this that I will hold close to me as I climb into bed tonight is that through it all, I lived.  I am a fortunate woman.