So, today is National Cancer Survivors Day. The National Cancer Survivors Day Foundation defines a survivor as "anyone living with a history of cancer from the moment of diagnosis through the remainder of life". So, yes, I am a cancer survivor! I guess that I have know about this special day for years, but it never really meant a lot to me until the last five or so years. I am not sure why - I think that after recovering from the first cancer, I just tried to forget about the cancer stuff and be "normal" again. And then, lucky for me, it was years before the second cancer reared it's ugly head (no pun intended, since it was brain cancer).
Off and on these last few years, I have been involved in Cancer Survivor Day functions at one of the two hospitals where I was treated (Mercy and Franklin Square). A few years ago, Franklin Square had a real nice event that I attended and there were various activities and a photo booth and I had a nice photo of myself taken with Rev. Cheri - it was a good time. Last year, mom joined me at an event at Mercy Hospital. There was a guest speaker and some health care professionals spoke and all the survivors that attended were given a bag of goodies and treated to some refreshments. Today, I had planned to attend this years event at Mercy Hospital, but my day got complicated and I never made it to the event. At first I was really sad and disappointed that I could not attend, but then I thought about the reason that I missed it and I was really happy. So, here is the story of what I did today:
I decided to stop by the St. Anthony's Festival in Little Italy as soon as it opened today at 11:00 am. I like the festival and did not make it there yesterday, so today was the last chance. It was a beautiful day, the weather was cool for this time and year and the sun was shining. My plan was to stay at the festival for about an hour, walk around, play a few wheels, donate some money to a good cause, maybe have something to eat - at least some fried dough - and then head home. There was plenty of time to get to the event at Mercy Hospital at 2:30 pm. When I got to the festival, the minute I walked down Exeter Street and saw the first wheel, I ran into an old family friend and she ran over to hug me and tell me how happy she was to see me. And then came the big question, "Is there any way that you can stay and help - we have an extra wheel and no volunteer is here to run it yet"? Sure I said, all the time thinking that I would hang out for an hour and be on my way. Well, I was manning the "Italian Food Basket" wheel and before I knew it, a few hours had flown by. I couldn't believe it, between spinning the wheel and engaging with the crowd and handing out prizes and collecting the money, I had not realized how quickly the day was going. I had not even stopped to eat or drink. Well, I did finally take a break and had some great food and a much needed lemonade (and yes, I ate the fried dough that I had wanted all along), but they still were short handed, so I had a big decision to make. Do I stay and man the wheel or do I leave to make the Cancer Survivors Day event at Mercy? It was a tough decision, but in the end, I realized that the decision was easy - I needed to stay, because what I was doing was exactly what Cancer Survivors Day is all about - I was LIVING. I was doing a normal activity and I was enjoying life. Isn't this what I survived for??? In those few moments of reflection, I realized that I had been standing in a small booth, handling money, talking to strangers, using my arms to spin a wheel, handing out food baskets, and all without even thinking of any ailment or disability. I inwardly shouted "I AM A CANCER SURVIVOR AND I AM ALIVE"! I know, it would have been far more dramatic if I had shouted it out to the world, but I kept it to myself. At that point, I knew that I was making the right decision. Yes, I would have enjoyed the speaker and I would have enjoyed being with others who had been on a journey much like the one that I had, but mostly I know that I enjoyed leading a normal life thanks to being a cancer survivor.
After I got home and recalled the events of the day and the missed event at Mercy, I thought of some of the things that I wished for when I was in treatment or too weak to walk or function or when my blood counts were so low that I could not be around people or outside or do anything. I remember seeing Ron Matz do an interview on the news about the St. Anthony Festival in Little Italy while I was sitting in a hospital bed receiving chemotherapy and I remember thinking, that I wished that I could be outside and at the festival and oh how I wished that I could eat some spaghetti sauce (not eating tomato sauce is really tough on someone Italian when going through cancer treatments!). I remember reading in the paper that volunteers were making ravioli for a fundraiser and I wished that I could be one of those volunteers. I remember hearing that my friends were out and about at nice restaurants or cookouts and wishing that I could be out and about as well. And here I was, today, out and about, eating tomato sauce, engaging with people on the streets of Little Italy and I never once thought about having cancer and being sick. I only thought about attending an event. WOW - Life really is good, and it is good to remember that - especially when you are a cancer survivor.
My final thoughts of the day go out to a couple of friends that I know who are currently battling cancer, one being my age and one not too much older. You both fit the definition of survivor at this point, but I am sure that it does not mean much to you as you go through treatments and deal with all the side effects and look in the mirror and see a person that is not quite you looking back. I don't have any magic pill to offer or a crystal ball to tell your future, but I do want to offer you my encouragement during your struggles. My wish for both of you is that one day, Cancer Survivors Day will find you with too many choices of how you spend your day!
Sunday, June 7, 2015
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