Nuggets at 3:33 a.m.

I don't remember who used the phrase "nuggets" to refer to bits of memories that come back to you, but I always thought that it was a great word.

Well, I woke up at exactly 3:33 a.m. the other night from some sort of nightmare. It seemed so real. The only thing that I remember from the nightmare was that there were people out in the cold winter weather and it was freezing out and I could not do anything to help them. The weird thing is that when I woke up, I was freezing - I always seem to be cold these days.

Anyway, after the nightmare, I couldn't get back to sleep, so I sat up in the chair and listened to some Show Tunes on my IPod. That is when the nuggets started. I kept thinking of bits and pieces of unconnected things and memories from the last few years. Some were happy and some were not so happy and some were just strange. I thought of the cool goody basket that was sent to me when I had the brain surgery - I still use the mail box that it came in to keep my current bills in. I also thought of a long ago friend that called me out of the blue and I had not remembered to return the phone call. I thought of some of the really nice nurses that have taken care of me and shared personal stories of their lives with me - it is odd how sometimes a total stranger's story can have so much impact in a time of discomfort. I also tried to rememeber the name of a particulary "mean" nurse who I did not like much, but I could not remember her name - maybe it is true that the bad stuff is more easily forotten. I thought of the plants at my house that have long since died, since I did not get there enough to keep them watered (or remember to have someone else water them for me). I also thought of the potted snake plants in my spare bedroom that are still alive and are thriving, eventhough they have only received water in rare moments. I thought of the now dormant rose garden that I planted at my house, but never really completed - I wonder if they will come back this year - I was not very attentive to them since planing them in the Spring. I thought about all the funerals and viewings that I missed due to my illness - at least four of my friends lost a parent while I was ill. I thought of events that I was not able to attend, but really wanted to and I also thought of events that I was fortunate enough to be able to attend. That had me thinking of all the things that I dragged my sister to last year, because I needed a driver! I thought about people who had traveled far to visit me during various stages of my illness and all the lunches and dinners and meals that friends and family have bought and/or prepared for me. Some friends recently brought me a carry-out crabcake sandwich - oh it was so big and yummy! I also thought of all the cards and letters and emails that people have taken time to send my way - so many little things that make the days go by faster and made me smile for a little bit. So many "simple pleasures". These nuggets of memory lasted until around 5:30 a.m. when I finally turned off the music and layed back in bed and fell into a deep sleep. I was surprised at how much I remembered the next day when I woke up. I think that sometimes we forget how many "nuggets" make up our days and weeks and lives. It was good to reflect on a few of them.