So, a lot happened during my last hospital stay and chemo treatment. One thing that happened, and in my little world was a major breakthrough. The major breakthrough was that I was able to make an origami crane. You know, a little paper bird that any 8 year old can make! Well, it is kind of a long story, but it was very important to me. Here goes:
A couple of years ago, I was going through some very stressful times (if I had only known then what I know now! That stress was nothing compared to the early part of 2010). My primary care doctor suggested that I take some yoga and maybe even learn origami to help with the stress. I did take a yoga class and I recommend it highly to anyone. I would be stressed out driving to yoga class trying to get out of work on time and get to class on time, but by the time I left there, I was full of peace and calm. It also helped my body be flexible. I also love all the funny names of the poses (downward facing dog; warrior, sun salutation, etc.).
So, then I decided to teach myself how to make origami. I bought a book from Barnes and Noble (on sale, of course) and wanted to make a dragon. Well, the dragon was labeled as difficult and was for a more experienced origamist (is that a word?). So, I settled on trying to teach myself to make an origami crane (a little bird) that I had seen children make and a guy that I went to college with used to make them in class all the time, so I figured that they must be easy. Sure - easy! Well, I should have taken a class and seen the crane made live and in-person, because it took me almost a full year to finally master making all the folds to form the crane and tons of crunched paper. Totally frustrating. NOT good for de-stressing. But, I finally did it and made a lot of origami cranes. They sort of became a signature piece for me - I would put them on gifts and attach them to flower arrangements with skewers and toothpicks, etc. Once I learned to make the origami crane, I could see why people said that it was relaxing. It takes total concentration to make the folds, so your mind is not thinking of a million other things.
So, when I went to the hospital for my first chemo treatment, I knew that I would have a lot of time on my hands and thought that origami would be a great way to spend my time and to relax during chemotherapy. I bought a new pack of origami paper and took the directions, eventhough I knew how to make it, I htought that I might need a refresher. My mom bought me this pretty little box to put my origami stuff in, so I was all ready. NOT! Well, the weird thing was that I could not make an origami crane. I tried and tried and totally frustrated myself trying, but could not make one. I guessed that it had something to do with the brain surgery and it really upset me - I was sure that the neurosurgeon not only removed the tumor, but also removed the part of my brain that was needed to make origami. For future reerence, NEVER ask your neurosurgeon if he removed the part of your brain that is needed to make origami - surgeons do not have much of a sense of humor - or at least mine didn't! Anyway, for the next bunch of trips to the hospital, my dad carried my box of origami stuff to the hospital each time that I was admitted and he carried it back home after being discharged from the hospital, just as empty of completed cranes as when I was admitted. I kept trying and trying until I just couldn't look at the box or a piece of origami paper again. If I had any sense at all, I would have asked someone to show me how to make it and maybe I would have done better, but it became a challenge and I had the feeling that if I could not make an origami crane again, I would never be "myself" again. I know - wacky! Way too much pressure on myself after all the medical stuff that I was going through, but it really bugged me. Well, I finally stopped carrying the box of origami stuff to and from the hospital and I pushed it to the back of the closet at my parents house where I couldn't really see it and be reminded of my origami failure.
I am not certain what made me dig the box out again, maybe just because I had been feeling better or stronger or because I just wanted to drive myself a little more crazy, but I tried again. Well, this time I got a little help from the world wide web. My neice and nephew suggested that I check YouTube for a video of someone making an origami crane and I did. You would not believe how many people have posted videos of themselves making origami! Anyway, I watched a couple of people make them (mostly weirdos with super calm voices) and tried again. It still took me a while, but I finally was able to make one before heading into the hospital. So, much to my father's annoyance, I dragged the box of origami stuff out of the closet and dad carried it to the hospital with us when I was admitted. The day after the chemo started flowing, I set up my area and started working on my origami. It took me a few pieces of crunched paper, but I finally got the hang of it on my own and made some pretty good origami cranes. I really impressed the nurses and care associates with my origami skill! I was so happy and proud of myself that I started handing them out to everyone. Well, I made about thirty of them while there and gave most of them away, but my dad was really happy to carry the box containing some completed origami cranes home with us from the hospital! I know that it seems like a small accomplishment, but to me it was a major breakthrough. Sometimes it is the little things that make all the difference!
A special thank you to the person who remembered how much I liked doing origami in the past and sent me an origami kit with fancy paper when I was first diagnosed and found out that I needed chemotherapy. I am finally able to use it - so what a great gift! PS: I am saving the dragon for after my treatments end - I am not going to jump from easy crane to difficult dragon just yet, but someday, I know that I will master the dragon! For now, I am very happy to be making cranes.
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